A REASON, A SEASON OR A LIFETIME

I just can't be thankful enough for the people I had share a moment of my life with. I now believe that every single person we interact during our lifetime will mark us in someway; some may bring joy and wisdom, other may bring pain and uncertainty but at the end we will learn from every single one of them because that was the purpose of their step in to our lives.

I say Thank You for being there for me even for a second, thank you for making my day, thank you for making me stronger, thank you for teaching me when to trust, how to give, how to love, how to listen, how to care, how to be happy, how to be brave, how to laugh.... Thanks you whoever once was in my life.

This writing got to me thanks to Alexander Jimenez who I know will be a lifetime for me, thanks mi Alex you know the rest.

A REASON, A SEASON OR A LIFETIME...by ~©Brian A. "Drew" Chalker~

People always come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.
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When someone is in your life for a REASON,

It is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty, or to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or even spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend to you, and they are.

They are there for the REASON you need them to be.

....

Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

....

Sometimes they die.

Sometimes they just walk away.

Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

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When people come into your life for a SEASON,

it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.

They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Believe it! It is real! But, only for a SEASON.

And like Spring turns to Summer and Summer to Fall,

The season eventually ends.

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LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;

Those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas in your life.

It is said that love is blind but FRIENDSHIP is clairvoyant.

When have we grown?

It is impossible to live without never experienced an unfinished a job, taken a bad business decision, being sick, suffer the loss of a family member, lost a friend because of a disappointment, or have our hearts broken because that’s the price we must pay for living.

But the important thing is not that bad things happen, is the way we confront adversity. If we decide to gather perpetually bleeding wounds… we will always live like wounded birds incapable of traverse the sky in search of better grounds.

We grow when we go through life full of hope, when we stay strong and still have faith.

We grow when we accept reality and have the nerves to affront it, when we accept that our destiny is consequence of the path we’ve formed and not just the way things are.

We grow when we assimilate the things we’ve left behind, build with what we have a road to keep walking forward and foreseeing the future that awaits for us.

We grow when we succeed, value ourselves and harvest the goods we’ve sown.

We grow when we make a path with our footprints, learn the lessons offered by our experiences and settle down.

We grow when we set goals and don’t mind the negative comments or judgments, when we set the example and don’t mind the jokes and we accomplish our mission.

We grow when we develop character and yet we can be sensible, when we cultivate values and are humble.

We grow when we stand still against the winter even if we lose some leaves, pick up the flower even though they have spines and step the road even though we will lift up the dust.

We grow when we are able to find console on broken illusions, capable of get the scent of flowers scraps and deal with love crumbs.

We grow when we help others, know ourselves and give life more of what we get.

We grow when we stand still to never back up, when we fight like eagles to never stop flying, when dropped the anchor and light up ourselves like a star

Then my friends we have grown….

The things we say... The things we do

One day wondering around about things going on in my life I stopped in one specific issue and came out with this sort of quote; ”The things we say get them believing, but the things we do get them wondering… so why bother saying things that we are not willing to do or we don’t mean”.

As soon as I posted this quote on MySpace the protagonist of that particular issue called –“what does that in MySpace means? Are you saying that I don’t mean the things I say to you?” To make long story short I used to tell this guy to stop saying that he loves me because I knew he didn’t and it was making things even more difficult for me because I did love him. He sort of got mad by the fact I said he was being a liar but it was the truth, even though he was saying the things I wanted to hear he was doing totally the opposite.

What´s the need to lie? Why people say to other people things they don’ really feel knowing that at the end it would be painful, and I don’t say this just when it comes to love relationships; I mean this for all kind of relationships. Actions speak louder than words and the sound of a heart breaking is the loudest. Let us just call things by their names and speaking the truth.

Serendipity!!!

Serendipity is the effect by which one accidentally discovers something fortunate, especially while looking for something else entirely. Serendipity is so unique and fortunate that the word has been voted as one of the ten English words that were hardest to translate in June 2004 by a British translation company.

Most of the important and meaningful things in my life had happen thanks to serendipity, especially people coming in to my life when I least expected them and they made living even more worthy. You have to pay attention to life’s way of doing things because sometimes you will find that what you've found without looking for it is more suited to your needs than what you thought you were looking for.

This sleeping beauty didn’t ask to be awake

I shall never forgive you for teaching me how to love life. I was calm and rest no demon hunting my mind, I had no fear of losing what wasn’t mine in the first place and I was not harm by the pain of the uncertain. I was sleeping on a peaceful dream before you abruptly interrupted it and force me to wake up and see what I was missing; it was good I confess, guilty I must say I was for enjoying what you were offering, guilty I must say I was for allowed it go so far. You came and took from me all you wanted and poor of me so naïve I was, I put no resistance and too soon revealed the secrets of the heart therefore announced to the world it was coming to an end. Condemned to fail it is when the scent of the pursuing is reveal too fast and there is no other road than the one to the land of “no interested anymore” when taken for granted because you gave all you were and told all you thought. I shall never forgive you for bringing me to the light and showing me the beauty of being awake and then disappearing in the blink of an eye and leaving me exposed and vulnerable with no shield to protect me, I would’ve rather stayed on the dark, unaware and safe. May I always be in your heart, sometimes in your thoughts, but never in your debt just like Elizabeth Barry told Lord Rochester in The Libertine.

24 Ways to a Girl's Heart

This is just a rubbishy article my friend show me one day at work but I couldn't stop laughing about it, believe it or not some of this things have happened to me and now I realized that many of the things you hate about someone are the same things you gonna miss...

(some of this things are really condemnable and should never be executed. Just use good judgment)


24 Ways to a Girl's Heart

1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better." This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.

2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. If she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really, really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.

3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up.

4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is, say "you better be." Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.

5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement.

6. Recognize the small things; they usually mean the most. Then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. Because jewelry is for wussies and Asian ladies.

7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When she is, stare into her eyes, mouth the words 'fuck you,' and grab the other girl's ass. Girls love competition.

8. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard. When she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because I can."

9. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick". Women love those special nicknames.

10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.

11. Warm her up when she's cold... but not by giving her your jacket, because then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say, "If you don't stop bitching about the cold right now, you're going to be bitching about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.

12. Take her to a party. When you get there she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party's dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.

13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn't girls?

14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things. Like basketball.

15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.

16. If you care about her, never ever tell her. This will only give her self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.

17. Every time you're in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way she'll go crazy.

18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order interrupt and say "No, she's not hungry". Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.

19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then clock her one. Girls love a spontaneous guy.

20. Give her one of your t-shirts... and make sure it has your smell on it. But not a sexy cologne smell. A bad smell. You know what I'm talking about.

21. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she'll think you're mysterious.

22. Remember her birthday, but don't get her anything. Teach her material objects aren't important. The only thing that's important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.

23. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then next time you know she's coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this one that much, but I think it's funny.

24. If she's mad at you for not calling her when you say you will, promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will ensure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call you're going to tell her a special surprise. Now she'll be really excited. Now don't call. That's also quite funny!

At some point on the road called life...

There's a point in your life when you get tired of fixing everything and trying to make everyone happy. When you finally decide to put a stop, it's NOT giving up; it's realizing you don't need certain people and the bullshit they bring in to your life.

Happiness...

We are so busy pursuing happiness that so often we forget what happiness really is and how we can find it in the little details, meaningful words and the moments we share with the people we love, we just have to look closer around us!

Tell me you can't find happiness in something as perfect as this...

Awake

We spend most of our lives sleeping and dreaming of how others are living their lives or what we want to do or who we want to be. We keep sleeping until one day we wake up and find out that we've wasted all of this time dreaming when we should've just lived it up


Am I awake?...

are you awake?...

When I was lost and wondering things my friend send me this...

I explained her what was the deal and how I couldn't put it in words, she understood why I was mad and said to me; this simple quote resume YOU...

"Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men do not want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground, which are not as good, but are easy. The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right person to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree"


Thank you Jenna Fieldbinder for being my stronger half when I needed it

In love of love Itself...

I am a proud junkie of a state of mind, I got addicted to not being in control, I find pleasure on the erratic beat of my heart, I am craving for feeling of being lost, I need the burning sensation on my skin, I wish for the blindness that it brings.

Who says that love isn’t a drug? Or who says is not a mental disease? Just pay attention to the symptoms; you are being incoherent, you laugh for no reason, you hallucinate, your personality change, you lose control of your actions, your heart beat drastically change when the person is around, the only thought of missing that person makes you feel empty, the temperature of your skin rise when you are touched and there is nowhere or anything else to look because of you fixation.

Pay attention to what happens when you look that person’s eyes; you find peace and joy, when that person says your name; your eyes illuminate and a cold wave run through your whole body,when that person touches you;you can feel a warmth sensation, how your joints become week and how small every problem seems.

I am in love of love itself; I am in love of that breathtaking, joyful, irresponsible love that makes you think there’s nothing else worthy enough. I just wish it was easier to feel it and there weren’t so many things to consider.

Let me forever be addicted to love or forever suffer from the love disease!!

Innocence is my shell and naïve I walk living a fantasy...

What are your numbers? That was my friend’s question regarding to the balance fantasy/reality in my life on a 100% scale; I answered him 60/40 living in a fantasy. Was funny because the day before I was experimenting one of my existential problems and I needed to vent so I started writing… the 4 pages I wrote were about on how was I living a fantasy.

Can you blame me for living in a fantasy when reality is so fucked up?

In my fantasy world I live in a shell that protects me from the outside, in my shell I have everything and everyone I need, in my shell I believe everything is good and there’s no evil, my shell is called innocence and in my shell I’m naïve.

You might find rude or reckless that I want to ignore reality so I can live happy but what else can you do to make it through every day other than put some makeup to reality and forgetting of every problem? Have you ever thought of how happy are some of those people committed in a mental institution? Yes I know it sounds a bit sadist but don’t get me wrong; I’m just saying that some of those people that we called crazy because they don’t have a notion of reality are the happiest person in the world; they see no evil, they hear no evil and the speak no evil, although that doesn’t change the fact that they are sick.

I always think people will do what is right and fair and when I realized they don’t I make an excuse for them in my fantasy world, I’m not aware of people cruel intentions, give me a smile and be fair couple of times and I’ll buy your lie for some time, lie to me once and I’ll give you a second chance to emend your mistake, I’ll trust you a secret just because you trust me one and I’ll take it to the grave, I take care of the people I love; I’ll put aside my own problems to help them or being strong for them. I can show the good woman.

This all happen in my shell where I feel save, where I find a justification to a clearly unjustifiable issue just to not get hurt, where not everyone is invited so I don’t have more to lose, everything good happens in my happy place; in my shell named innocence.

Like every country my shell have frontiers and in like every country people manage to go inside without authorization like if the world is for they to take, they get in no matter how protected you are and without notice they mix; some of them will do you right and become one more of your blessings but other will try to take over and sow madness and chaos but deep down it is my shell and I have control of it.

See, there’s no shame of living in a fantasy because everything happen they way you want it and when something goes wrong you can handle it easily. Innocence is my shell and naïve I walk in this world thinking that I’ll find people just like me that see the beauty and the goodness of the little things, that smile just because of the warm and peaceful feeling it brings and that is grateful for all the good things and people in their lives.

Sure I’m living a fantasy but I’ll find someone that will make it a REALITY!!!

When you think about it...

It's not about following your heart and it's not about keeping your promises. It's about security and determination to commit more than you are willing to and being sure that the commitment is the same in both sides.

When you are lost...

Sometimes when you are trying to find a solution to a problem you don't know anything for sure or if your plan is going to work out, but sometimes when you stop doing "something" things find their way to work out on their own and the truth comes out. Maybe it's because things are meant to be in certain way and we just like to go all the way around looking for an easy way or a shortcut and all we get is end up right when we started.

I guess we just gotta have faith. I was lost and had nothing to hold on to a few days ago so I did it; I just stopped doing something or thinking about it and now I got a choice to make and started planning my final goal for January.

But the truth is that these times aren't easy anymore and we have to believe everything is possible…

Worse things that being alone..

There are worse things than being alone but it often takes decades to realize them and most often when you do; it's too late and there's nothing worse than "too late"...

The people who suffer the most...

The people who suffer the most are those who doesn't know what they want or can not commit to it...

The more you try the harder it gets!!

It pisses me off that the more you try to find perfection the more it seems to be just a state of mind.... not kidding I gave up thinking that things could be better than the way they are.

Perhaps "perfection" is just that; accept things how they are and making things better by being more selfless and stop believing that the only way to be happy is possessing those things that we don't have or idealizing how our lives are suppose to be.

At the end we are and we live by the consequences of our actions, what goes around comes around and what we sow is what we reap, so I can't ask for something better than what I've sown.

Perfection is the best I can get for what I've given away...

"Starting all over again" doesn't exist

There's nothing like starting all over again because there's no way that you are going to forget what just happened and pretend everything is fine now. Forgive and forget?? Yes may forgive; but forget? For God's sake it happened is not like if you have amnesia. (Pretty selective I might say)

The thing is that when we decide to "start all over again" is just a way to say I'll forgive you and I accept the fact that we might do it better this time ( and this does not apply just for love relationships but for every human relationship; friends, family, business) But guess what...You will always have that feeling of concern about whether or not that person will do it again, you will act more cautious, there will be some tension and even the smallest sense of a doubt will create a big storm. Sometimes we end up with more regret after starting all over again because it reaffirms you were wrong and got fooled twice, in other cases for more silver lining people instead of regret they'll have the satisfaction of done everything they could to fix it. Believe me this the best approach because it is much more rewarding; you actually think you're superior than that despicable person that to be honest; did fooled you twice!

So now we are clear that there's no "starting over again" but there's always forgiveness and repentance and if is true it will overcome the fears, the caution and the tension, and if the repentant really regrets what had done and prove it to you is when you can put the things behind and "kind of forget what happened" (<---- see the [""] that means you know it happened but don't remember it that often) and when you do is not "starting all over again" is rising above a problem triumphant and stronger. As long as it doesn't happen all the time on both sides because that will be codependency and that's need therapy which could've be avoided if like I said visits to the shrink once a year were mandatory for everybody.

P.S (sometimes the repentant proves his regret in every possible way but the offended never accepts it, in that case the repentant becomes a martyr because there's nothing else to prove, so has two choices keep begging and whining for the impossible or accept that has done everything and get a life)

It's our choice...

At one point we all have to choose whether to stay where we are just conforming or to move forward and pursuit greatness...

History

We all have a past and it's hard not to be hunted by it but our past is our history, and that history is what made possible for us to be who we are now, so we all have to remember that what we are doing today will be the history hunting us tomorrow…